Seasons Change
by I heart McDreamy
Summary: AU, Merder. Meredith's life has been turned upside down. What happens when she goes to Seattle to start over and is immediately thrust into a competition with a certain neurosurgeon with an ego problem? Rated T for thematic content. Updates daily.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or the characters affiliated with it. **

**A/N: So this is my new story. Some of you may have read my first one, Tequila Dreams. To any new readers, welcome. As mentioned in the summary, this is a story about Meredith's arrival in Seattle and the neurosurgeon she encounters there. It is a mix of humor, angst, and sadness. This story has already been written and completed, so updates will come daily (or as close to daily as I can manage). Unlike my last story, there will be no songs for chapter titles...just regular ol' boring chapter numbers. Sorry. **

**Anyways, here it is. And I hope you all enjoy it. Oh, and comments mean the world to me so make sure to leave them:)**

**P.S. The title of the story as well as part of the plotline is based on the song Seasons Change by Susie Suh. If you've never heard of her, you should definitely check her out. She's amazing. **

Meredith took one last look at her house, the one she had lived in for the past eight years of her life. She looked over toward the living room. She could almost hear the giggling fits that had taken place on the couch during their many tickling fights.

Her gaze shifted toward the kitchen, instantly honing in on a paint stain on the hardwood floor. She could picture the moment in her mind perfectly, as if it were only yesterday. They had just moved in and he was meticulously painting the walls, careful not to spill a single drop. At that time they couldn't keep their hands off each other, much like most newlyweds tend to be. She snuck up behind him and began to kiss his neck. His body tensed in excitement and he quickly turned around to pull her closer, dropping the paintbrush carelessly so that both his hands were free to roam as they pleased. Meredith had always been fond of that paint stain and what it symbolized. But now, it was just a faded blotch on the floor that mocked her.

Lastly, Meredith's eyes wandered toward the stairs. She had climbed those stairs so many times she had easily memorized where all the creaky parts were located. Standing perfectly still she ascended the stairs with her eyes, knowing what room was at the top. She subconsciously shivered as she felt his phantom arms wrap around her like they had done every night.

After standing there for a few more moments, Meredith mustered up enough energy to open the front door. She inhaled deeply, taking in the familiar aroma of her house one last time. It wasn't until she had one foot out the door that she heard the telephone ring. Her body instantly went rigid as she waited for the answering machine to take over. She heard the voice of the caller….a voice she had grown accustomed to over the years. She tightly closed her eyes as she waited for the message to be over. She knew it by heart. If she wanted to she could easily say the message in unison with the caller. However, she knew the actual meaning behind the words and the thought of it made her sick.

Hearing the caller finish the message and hang up, Meredith knew she was doing the right thing. She straightened her back, squared her shoulders and attempted to look confident and put-together as she silently locked the door behind her.

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

Meredith drove. It was as simple as that. She had no idea where she was going, and, frankly, it really didn't matter. All she cared about was that her future was in front of her and her past was behind her. She glanced in her rearview mirror and sighed. Whoever thought to write, "Objects in mirror are closer than they appear" should be shot. Twice. She increased her weight on the gas pedal in an attempt to reach her future more quickly.

She needed a distraction from her thoughts, so she reached over and turned on the radio. The melodious voice of John Legend filled the car. Meredith grimaced. She now hated that name. She quickly changed the channel, only to be met with the sound of Queen blasting through the speakers. Meredith had grown to love that band over the past eight years because it had been his favorite. Not any more. The channel was changed for the third time. Damien Rice. Meredith liked Damien Rice; his voice always had a calming affect on her. But then she realized what song it was….9 Crimes.

"Well," Meredith thought to herself, "I think it's pretty clear the music gods hate me." She let out another sigh as she turned the radio off. Silence rippled through the car, bringing her dark thoughts back like tidal waves.

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

After a few more hours of driving, Meredith's fatigue began to kick in. She had been driving nonstop since early that morning. But she had sworn to herself that she would keep driving until she couldn't drive another second. She had just about reached that point.

Noticing an exit sign on the highway, she became aware of how hungry she was. The only thing she had eaten along the way was a few half eaten bags of stale potato chips she had found her in her back seat. It was disgusting, she knew that, but for someone whose favorite food was leftover grilled cheese it didn't come as that big a shock. But now, she had a craving for the biggest plate of French toast money could buy. Luckily for her, there was a 24-hour diner not one hundred feet from the exit ramp.

A few minutes later, she found herself seated in a booth next to the window with a large glass of orange juice in front of her. She was waiting on her food while trying to figure out where to go….with this sudden trip of hers, with her life, and with her heart. There were so many questions surrounding the decision she had made that morning, none of which had tangible answers. Just as her food was delivered, her cell phone began to trill loudly.

"Hello?"

"Is this Mrs. Levant?"

She instantly recognized his voice, and smiled at the thought of something familiar. "Richard, there's no need for formality. It's Meredith…just Meredith. How are you?"

"You have no idea how great it is to hear your voice Meredith! I'm doing great, but with your help I could be doing even better."

"Hmm, are you trying to hint at something Richard?"

"I'll just get straight to the point. My Head of Neurosurgery is going to be out of the country for a few weeks. I need someone to take his place while he's away. And I need the best. You, Meredith, are the best. So what do you say?"

Meredith thought for a few seconds. The entire time she had been driving, she was looking for a sign…something to tell her it was time to stop driving. Maybe this was her sign. And Seattle had always been special for her. It was where she was born, where she grew up, and where she had absolutely no connections, with the exception of Richard. Yes, this could be the exact sign she was looking for. Her fresh start. Her new beginning. "Richard, I would love to come help you out for a few weeks. I'm honored that you thought of me."

"Excellent! Can you be here by tomorrow?" From the tone of his voice, Meredith knew there was a large, beaming smile on his face.

"Of course I can. I've been driving west for the past 18 hours, so coincidentally I'm half way there. But there's something you need to know first, and it's something that I think will have a large affect on this situation; it's crucial you know before we finalize this whole thing."

Richard sat in silence as Meredith explained her dilemma. He was shocked by how messed up her life had become. His sympathies went out for the woman who had been his most successful intern. She had shown so much promise in the field of neurology, and he was beyond proud of the name she had made for herself in the medical field so far. He had made sure to keep up on her progress, always hearing nothing but praise and admiration from her bosses. But now, her life was spiraling downward and there was nothing he could do to save her. Her problems were something he couldn't fix.

"Meredith, I'm glad you made me aware of this. You have my sympathy, I'm sure this is very difficult for you. But you needn't worry about how this will affect your position in Seattle. Our hospital deals with things like this more than you would know. I'm not saying it's a common thing here, but it does arise every once in a while. We will find a way to work through it, don't worry." He took in a deep breath. "So I expect to see you sometime tomorrow. All of your accommodations will have been taken care of by then: your hotel, car, expenses, everything. This hospital is very appreciative of you coming here, as am I. So, I guess I will see you tomorrow and we'll get all the legalities signed and sent off and then you can start."

"Okay, thanks Richard. I look forward to seeing you again. Say hello to Adelle for me." As she closed her cell phone, a small smile crept upon her lips. She was starting over…by tomorrow it would be official. She was relieved that Richard had been so accepting and supportive of her situation. Her placed her phone on the table and brought her hand down to rest on her stomach. "So what do you think, kiddo? How does Seattle sound?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters affiliated with it.**

**A/N: Thank you for all the comments, I'm glad everyone likes it so far. And to answer your question kml57, the reason it is listed as complete is because I already have the entire thing written…I listed it as that so that readers would know that updates would come regularly. **

**So here is the next chapter. Sorry if the chapters are short in the beginning. They will get longer as we get deeper into the story. But for now, they are kind of short. **

**Also, I have potential bad news. ****I bought a new laptop this summer. And the fall semester at my university is starting up next week. So I brought my new baby over to the IT department to get it configured to the campus network. It was supposed to be a 10 minute job. I was there for 3 hours. I guess some weird problem popped up while they were doing their...whatever...and no one in the entire IT department can figure out why it happened. As a result, they are making me drop my baby off at their office this morning when they open so they can have tons of other people look at it. And I have no idea when I'll get it back. Hopefully before school starts up again! So...I'm super sorry for having to disappear. It was totally unplanned. I mean who knew my laptop would have some freak issue with it. And the funny thing is...we didn't even know that problem existed until they started to work on a different issue. Don't you just hate that? I almost wish they had never even discovered this new problem. I hate not having a computer.**

**But the second I get my baby back, I will give you another chapter…maybe even two! Anyway, thank you for reading and for your comments. You guys are the best!**

Meredith had found a motel near the diner, and had fallen asleep seconds after her head hit the pillow. However her slumber was quickly invaded with continual nightmarish flashbacks.

_She was doing the laundry, like she did every other day. Just as she went to pick up John's shirt from the hamper, she noticed something red on his collar. _

"_That's weird," Meredith thought to herself. "Why would there be red stuff on his collar? Wait, that kind of looks like lipstick. It can't be. Maybe I dropped my lipstick in the hamper by accident one day. Oh well." She picked up the shirt and threw it into the washer and walked away. The thought of the red blotch on the shirt quickly left her mind._

_**greysanatomygreysanatomy**_

_It was a cold winter night. He had just gotten home from work and was dead tired. Meredith met him happily at the door, eager to spend time with him. She helped take off his coat and went to hang it up in the coat closet. It was then that she caught a whiff of it…..perfume. Her brow furrowed as she wondered why his coat would have perfume on it, considering Meredith never wore any. Maybe he was in a crowded elevator when he left work. Or maybe…she couldn't come up with any other scenarios. Well, she could, but they were ones that she refused to believe. He was her husband. They loved each other. And love was always enough. _

"_Hi John. It's Angela. Your dad needs you to come in again. There are some documents that need your signature. You know how it is…the life of a vice president is never ending. See you soon."_

_Meredith had lost count of how many times she had heard that message. Angela, his secretary, called practically every other night with some request from John's father. John had been working for his dad's contracting company since he was fifteen years old, and had been promoted to vice president almost a year after he and Meredith had gotten married. He never used to be this busy before. It was as if in the past few months the workload had tripled. As Meredith listened to Angela's message, she wondered what he was doing and when he would be home._

_**greysanatomygreysanatomy**_

_Meredith was standing in the elevator that led to John's office. She was carrying a large bag of take-out from their favorite restaurant. He had been called into work again and Meredith was sick of eating alone practically every night. If he couldn't eat dinner at home, she would bring dinner to him. There was a huge smile plastered on her face. She had found out some wonderful news that morning._

_A few weeks ago, John had come home after a long day. He must have stopped by the local bar on his way home because he was slightly drunk. She had given him a welcome home kiss, which he quickly intensified. Things got heated as he carried her upstairs to their bedroom. Meredith knew he was inebriated but he hadn't shown her that much attention in weeks. She would take whatever she got. _

_Now, as she walked toward his office, she was thrilled by her news. She was pregnant. She knew they hadn't really talked about kids…John had always wanted to get ahead in the company before he took the time to start a family. But Meredith was positive that he would be just as happy about this as she was. _

_She knocked softly on his office door, but got no response. Knowing him, he had probably fallen asleep on the couch. He had been doing that a lot lately. She slowly opened the door and poked her head inside. She suddenly dropped all her food on the floor as her mouth hung open in shock. John was, indeed, on the couch. But he most certainly was not sleeping. Rather, he was lying naked on top of his secretary. Hearing someone at the door, John quickly turned his head around. His eyes locked with Meredith's. It was in that moment, when she saw there wasn't a trace of guilt on his face, that Meredith realized she hadn't walked in on a one time, spur of the moment kind of thing. Without saying a word, she turned around and left. Her face was a collage of emotions: sad, angry, shock, disgust, disbelief, but most importantly hurt._

_It had been three days since Meredith had walked in on John's adulterous affair. He had yet to come home. Meredith knew her marriage was over. But she needed to talk to John; she needed to know why. She got in her car and drove to his office. She didn't bother knocking when she got there. It obviously hadn't done her much good the last time. She saw him sitting at his desk looking over some papers. She stood in the doorway. _

"_How long?"_

_John looked up at her. There was no point in lying about it. "Six months."_

_Meredith visibly looked like she had been jabbed in the stomach. She refused to look at him, but rather starred at the wall behind his head. "So all of the messages…those were what? Booty calls?_

_John sighed loudly as he rubbed his face with his hands. "They weren't booty calls."_

"_Oh really! Well what would you call it then, John? Your skanky secretary calls our house at all hours of the night and you take off without a second thought. Sometimes you never even come back home. You just go to your office to have nasty, adulterous sex. I think my definition fits pretty damn well."_

"_They were not booty calls," John repeated forcefully. _

_Suddenly, a look of comprehension spread across Meredith's face. "Oh my god," she said slowly. "You have feelings for her." For the first time in three days, she looked into his eyes. "How can you have feelings for her?? I'm your wife for Christ's sake. I'm the one you vowed to love for the rest of your life. Do you remember that, John? Do you remember the day we stood in front of our family and friends and committed ourselves to each other? You told me that love could conquer anything."_

"_But what if it can't? What if I don't love you anymore?"_

_Meredith closed her eyes as she took that low blow. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She subconsciously let her hand drift toward her stomach in a protective manner. Once she had taken a few deep breaths she opened her eyes and looked at him intently. "I want you out of my house."_

_John simply nodded his head. "What are you going to do?"_

_In a calm and even tone she answered, "That's none of your concern."_

_**greysanatomygreysanatomy**_

Meredith tossed and turned. This had been one of the worst nights of sleep she had ever had. Her past was haunting her every thought. Almost afraid of what other memories might resurface if she went back to sleep, she sat up straight in bed with her back against the headboard. She rubbed her stomach gently, a habit she had acquired over the past few days.

"Hmmm…what do you think, baby? I doubt we are going to get any more sleep tonight. Why don't we get back on the road? Sound good?" Meredith smiled to herself as she thought of the tiny life that was growing inside of her. It saddened her that this child would grow up without a father, but she knew him/her would grow up with a mother that loved him/her unconditionally. She would be this child's mother, father, caregiver, and best friend. And that was all that mattered.

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

An hour later, Meredith was on the road again. She had grabbed some breakfast before leaving the motel. Her mind was still reeling slightly from all of the flashbacks she had had during the night. All of the emotions she had been feeling over the past few days came back with such force it almost shocked her. The silence that filled the car was too much to bear; it left her mind vulnerable to her past. She decided to take a chance on the radio again, praying that the music gods would be gentle with her. As she turned the volume up, she instantly recognized the song. It was Santa Monica (Watch The World Die) by Everclear.

**I am still livin' with your ghost  
Lonely and dreamin' of the west coast  
I don't wanna be your down time  
I don't wanna be your stupid game**

Meredith rolled her window down, letting the wind blow through her hair. She was currently driving down one of those southern desert highways that stretched on for miles…the kind where there are never any other cars. It was just Meredith and the open road.

**With my big black boots and an old suitcase  
I do believe I'll find myself a new place  
I don't wanna be the bad guy  
I don't wanna do your sleepwalk dance anymore  
I just wanna see some palm trees  
Go and try and shake away this disease**

Realizing she hadn't heard this song in years, Meredith quickly turned the volume up as loud as it could go. Her head started to bob back and forth to the beat as she began to hum the lyrics.

**We can live beside the ocean, leave the fire behind  
Swim out past the breakers, watch the world die  
We can live beside the ocean, leave the fire behind  
Swim out past the breakers, watch the world die**

As she listened to the song, the lyrics slowly found their way out of the cobwebs in her brain. She remembered the countless times she had sung to it in college. It was such a huge hit back then. Man, she loved this song.

**I am still dreamin' of your face  
Hungry and hollow for all the things you took away  
I don't wanna be your good time  
I don't wanna be your fall-back crutch anymore**

Meredith quickly realized how the lyrics now fit her life perfectly. She began to sing out loud, putting everything she had behind it. She just belted it out like there was no tomorrow. By this time she had gone into total head-banger mode. She pounded her palm on the steering wheel in unison with the beat.

**I'll walk right out into a brand new day  
Insane and risin' in my own weird way  
I don't wanna be the bad guy  
I don't wanna do your sleepwalk dance anymore  
I just wanna feel some sunshine  
I just wanna find some place to be alone**

She hadn't felt this alive in months. It was such a rush…to feel the wind in her hair, the pounding base of the speakers, the lyrics blasting….It was the exact emotional release Meredith needed. Maybe the music gods did love her after all.

**We can live beside the ocean, leave the fire behind  
Swim out past the breakers, watch the world die  
We can live beside the ocean, leave the fire behind  
Swim out past the breakers, watch the world die  
We can live beside the ocean, leave the fire behind  
Swim out past the breakers, watch the world die  
We can live beside the ocean, leave the fire behind  
Swim out past the breakers, Watch the world die**

As the song was winding down towards its end, Meredith felt so incredibly liberated. She was on her way to Seattle. Starting a new life. Who needed a no-good, lousy, cheating husband? Soon she would have the ocean, palm trees, sunshine, and happiness. This could be one of the best decisions she had ever made.

**Oh, yeah, watch the world die  
Yeah, yeah, watch the world die  
Oooohhhh, yeah, watch the world die  
Yeah, watch the world die**

Upon making that realization, Meredith felt the sudden urge to let her feelings out one last time. The song was slowly fading away as the radio channel was getting ready to play a new song. Meredith shoved her hand out her window and let the wind whip between her fingers. Taking in a deep breath, she screamed at the top of her lungs "SCREW YOU JOHN LEVANT!!! YOU SUCK!!!!" A smile a mile wide spread across Meredith's face. Everything was going to be okay. She just knew it. In a much softer voice she said, "You better get ready, Seattle, because here I come!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters affiliated with it.**

**A/N: I'm back! Apparently the problem with my laptop actually had nothing to do with my laptop…it was an issue with the campus's network firewall protection. They told me that only like 100 computers on campus were affected and mine happened to be one of them. If I hadn't of gone there that day, I never would have known. So they fixed their firewall issues and everything's A-OK once again. **

**  
In celebration of having my baby back…here's a new chapter! Thank you for all of your comments! You're all amazing! And I just might have an extra chapter for you tonight… :) **

It wasn't until 6 PM that Meredith finally made it to Seattle. The sun was just starting to set and the water was sparkling. Meredith laughed to herself as she thought back to a class project she had done in elementary school. She had stood up in front of the class, looked everyone in the eyes, and the first thing she said was, "Seattle is surrounded by water on three sides." As she looked out at the ferryboats it finally hit her how much she had missed this place.

She decided it would be best if she went straight to Seattle Grace Hospital to check in with Richard. Besides, he had the information of where she was staying so it wasn't like she could go anywhere else first. Although it had been over two decades since she had been to Seattle, she knew her way around as if she had never left. Before no time she was parking her car in front of the hospital. Smiling as she looked up at the large building, she placed her hand on her stomach and whispered, "Welcome home, kiddo."

It didn't take long before Meredith had found her way to Richard's office. She knocked lightly on his door and heard him say for her to enter. She opened the door and poked her head in.

"Hey, Richard."

His head instantly snapped up as a huge grin spread across his face. "Meredith! Get in here this instant!" He quickly jumped out of her chair and swooped her into a hug. As they stepped away, he had time to actually look at her. She looked much like she had as intern, except there was something slightly different about her. Something he couldn't quite place. She looked stronger. Not in terms of muscle, but in character and personality.

After they had caught up on each other's personal lives, all of the papers were signed and Meredith was given information on her accommodations. Richard had thought it a good idea to give her a quick tour of the hospital before she started the next morning. They walked slowly down all of the hallways. She listened as he pointed out certain areas she would be working in and telling her stories of interesting cases they had worked on in the past. Just as they were rounding the corner, they saw a streak of blue and dark brown run past them like a speeding bullet. Meredith gave Richard a quizzical look.

He simply laughed as he said, "That's Dr. Shepherd, our Head of Neurosurgery. He got called into an emergency surgery just as he was getting ready to leave. By the pace he's running at, I think it's safe to say he's going to be late boarding his plane. I wish you could have met him before he left. Oh well, you'll meet him when he gets back in a few weeks."

"You've mentioned his trip before. Where's he going?"

"Oh, I never told you? He's traveling Europe to speak at several important conferences. His first stop is Paris and his last is in Hamburg. I'm pretty sure there are 12 conferences in total. And then once he's done with those, he planned to spend two weeks volunteering at some hospitals in need of America's best Neurosurgeon."

Meredith was impressed. "That's quite a workload he has."

"Yeah it is. But Derek's never been one to take the easy way in life. He wants to become the best doctor he can but he also wants to help those who can't afford the best doctor. He's an amazing guy." They both starred in the direction that Derek had run off in, even though Derek was long gone. Finally Richard turned to Meredith and said, "Well, enough of that. I think it's time to show you your new office."

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

The next day passed quickly for Meredith. She arrived very early in the morning and worked nonstop until 7pm. It was difficult at first because she had gotten lost a few times and also because no one was taking her seriously. She heard the nurses and all of their snide comments about her abilities. Apparently this Dr. Shepherd person was God's gift to medicine. Every time she did something, some random nurse was always there to tell her, "Well, that's not what Dr. Shepherd would have done…." Meredith was so close to going Kevorkian on all their asses.

But there was this tiny part of her that enjoyed the nurses and their incessant need to belittle her. That tiny part of her was called competition…something which Meredith constantly craved. Now every time a nurse would tell her what she did wasn't what their almighty Head of Neurosurgery would have done, Meredith would simply shrug her shoulders and reply, "Well, then he's doing it wrong."

By the time Meredith's first shift at Seattle Grace was over, she was running on a complete adrenaline rush. It felt good to have a new beginning, but it felt even better to spend the entire day cutting people's heads open. It gave her a high that no drug could ever compare to. Even though she had been a surgeon for practically a third of her life, she still felt that certain rush when she held a ten blade.

Now that her day was over, Meredith's mind wouldn't stop spinning. She knew she had to go to sleep at some point that night. But there was no harm in relishing her newfound freedom, and so she spent the rest of her evening walking the streets of Seattle. It felt good to be home.

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

It didn't take long for Meredith fall into a steady rhythm at work. She worked as many shifts as she could in order to get as much practice as she could before the baby came. The nurses had finally grown to respect her and her abilities. It was rare for her to be compared to Dr. Shepherd. People recognized that she was a force to be reckoned with.

Days quickly turned into weeks and before Meredith knew it, three months had passed. In that time, she had begun to show. Her little baby was doing just fine. Meredith never ceased to smile whenever she felt him/her kick and move around. It was the most amazing feeling she had ever experienced in her entire life. Meredith couldn't wait for him/her to enter the world, only five more months to go.

Life in Seattle had been going great for Meredith. She had sent John divorce papers during her first week there and he had readily signed them. Neither of them wanted to draw out the process any longer than they had to. She hadn't heard from him since and frankly she could care less. He was just a chapter in her life, a chapter that was closed and never to be opened again. She had heard from a friend of hers that him and his skanky secretary were living together now, in their house no less. She had laughed so hard when she heard. He was truly pathetic. She felt bad for his skanky secretary, because as the saying goes "Once a cheater, always a cheater." It wouldn't take long for him to turn her in for a newer, younger model.

Meredith was finally happy. Things had gone back to normal. Her job was great. Her baby was great. And her life was great. She knew without a doubt that she had made the right decision moving to Seattle.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters affiliated with it.**

**A/N: Here's the second chapter of the day. I was going to make it longer, but I couldn't find a good stopping point other than this one. So the next chapter will be longer because it will have all the stuff I was originally going to put in this one. Anyways I know you will all like this one. Enjoy. :)**

**P.S. LuvrOfMcDreamy, yeah I did have this posted on another board. It was on fanficga.5.former as well as the back-up board that was created. Are you a member over there?**

A few days later, Meredith was having a very stressful day. She had a patient die first thing in the morning. It had happened overnight, one of the interns had been careless and gave the wrong dosage of medicine. That degree of complete idiocy put Meredith immediately in a foul mood.

Currently, all she wanted was to go down to the cafeteria and get some coffee. However, when she saw the 911 on her pager, she knew that wasn't going to be possible. A young woman was being brought in having multiple gran mal seizures. Meredith instantly ran over to the gurney and started shouting orders at the interns in the room.

"Okay Davids, 10mg diazepam i.m., now! Jeffreys…no, no! The white lead is on the right side. Righty, Whitey. Smoke over fire! Okay, Burns, this is shotgun. Do a CT, CBC, CHEM-7, TOX screen, everything. I want to you to report back to me immediately when you get the results, is that understood? I don't want another patient dying on your watch! Now, get going! We have a young woman to save!"

Meredith watched as the interns ran off in all different directions with dazed looks on their faces. She sighed audibly; she hated interns. They only made things worse. She walked over to the nurse's station and started filling out the young woman's chart.

Suddenly she could feel a presence behind her. She turned her head around and was met with the bluest pair of eyes she had ever seen. Her eyes scanned down his entire body, sizing him up. And then it clicked. She cocked her head to the side as she said, "So you're the speeding bullet, huh?"

Derek Shepherd's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He had never even met this woman before, why was she acting like she knew him? "I'm sorry, I don't believe we've met before. I'm Dr. Derek Shepherd, Head of Neurosurgery here."

Meredith accepted his extended hand; her grip was firm and tight. She did two forceful pumps of the handshake and then dropped his hand like it was on fire. She was wary of him. "Actually, Dr. Shepherd, we almost met once. You were running down this very hallway three months ago to catch your flight. I'm Dr. Meredith Grey, the substitute Head of Neurosurgery here."

Derek's eyes widened in surprise. So this was his replacement? He had expected a man for some reason. Never would he have thought it would be a woman….a pregnant woman no less. Why hadn't Richard thought to mention this before?

Meredith watched him as his eyes became trained on her stomach. She wasn't huge, but because she was so tiny her bulge was definitely noticeable. She placed a protective hand over her stomach as she cleared her throat. "You know, Dr. Shepherd, you seem to have forgotten your OB experience. You have seen a pregnant woman before, right?"

He quickly snapped out of his weird trance as his face turned a little red from embarrassment. "Sorry, it's just that you aren't quite what I was expecting."

Just as Meredith was about to answer him, she heard the sounds of her patient flat lining. "Shit!" she yelled as she went running down the hall towards her room. Derek was quickly on her heels, instantly going into doctor-mode. They both flew into her room and Meredith grabbed the defibrillator cart. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Derek grab some diazepam.

"Dr. Shepherd, what do you think your doing?"

"Giving her a shot of diazepam, what does it look like?"

Meredith's eyes instantly narrowed. "She's got diazepam. 2 mg morazopam. I just gave the second dose." She pushed him out of the way and took control of the situation. "Charge paddles to 200!"

"Charged. Clear," Derek said, his frustration clearly evident in his voice.

Meredith delivered the shock. Glancing up at the monitor she saw no change. "Charge to 300!"

No change. "Charge 360." Still no change. Meredith gave a loud, frustrated sigh. "Come on….Wake up! You can do this! Just wake up." She climbed on top of the gurney so that she was straddling the patient, wanting to put all of her weight behind it. "Charge again!"

Derek just stood there, looking at her.

"Charge again!" Meredith said those two words very slowly in a tone that made the hair on the back of Derek's neck stand up.

"It's 60 seconds, you're supposed to administer another bug."

"You think I don't know that? Charge the damn thing again, Dr. Shepherd, or leave. Your choice." She sent him an icy glare.

He rolled his eyes and sighed as he did as he was told. Suddenly the monitor started to beep and Meredith gave a triumphant smile.

Derek looked toward the machines. "Okay, I see sinus rhythm. Blood pressure's coming up. Pressure's returning and rate's coming back."

Meredith slowly hopped off the gurney and bent down to whisper something in her patient's ear. "You did good. I'm proud of you. Keep fighting, you understand me? I don't want to have to do that again. Just stay with us." She patted the young woman's shoulder before she exited the room. Derek followed slowly behind her. He had a look on his face that was a combination of anger, surprise, respect, and frustration.

"That's not what I would have done."

Meredith gave a hearty laugh. "God, if I had a nickel for every time I've heard that lately." She shook her head and walked away to go get her long awaited coffee, leaving Derek standing there completely speechless. Who was this woman? He needed to know more.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters affiliated with it.**

**A/N: New chapter time. Let the competition begin. Enjoy!**

Derek made his way to Richard's office, where he was originally going before he ran into Meredith. He knocked on the door and entered. Richard was sitting at his desk filling out some paperwork. He didn't look up when Derek had walked in. After Derek had been standing there for a few moments, Richard finally looked up.

"Shep, what can I do for you?"

"Dr. Grey?"

"What about her?"

"Exactly!"

"Look, Derek, I've had a stressful day so can we just skip this confusing banter and get right to your point?"

Derek took a seat in front of Richard's desk. "Where's Dr. Levant?"

"Here."

"But I thought Dr. Levant was my replacement…"

"Dr. Levant **_is_** your replacement."

"No, Dr. Grey just said she was."

"She is."

It was official. Derek was confused. He let out a frustrated sigh as he rubbed his temple with his fingers, attempting to subdue out the migraine that was heading his way. "Chief, I don't get it."

Richard rolled his eyes. "Dr. Levant and Dr. Grey are the same person. Meredith just prefers being called Grey."

"She's pregnant." Derek said it as a statement rather than a question.

"Yes she is. Do you have a problem with her being pregnant?"

"No, of course not. I just wasn't expecting a pregnant woman to be my replacement, that's all. It took me by surprise."

"Look, Derek. She's one of the best neurosurgeons in the country. I wouldn't hire her if I didn't have faith in her capabilities. Yes, she's pregnant. Yes, that's going to cause some problems in the next few months. But we are all professional adults and we will handle it when the time comes. You should really see her in action, Derek. She is an excellent surgeon. I should know, I taught her. I hope that you have the time to get to know her better. She doesn't have very many friends here in Seattle."

Derek thought back to what had happened only minutes before. "She's really bossy."

Richard chuckled. "Don't I know it! She put me in my place a few times….and she was just an intern back then. She'll surely keep you on your toes."

"So when does she leave?" That had come out sounding a little more eager than Derek had planned.

"I'm not sure. I haven't talked to her about it yet. Really Derek, you should go talk to her, get to know her. She's an amazing person."

Derek thought for a minute. If she was going to be in Seattle for a while longer he should at least make a tiny effort. Just as he was exiting the office he heard Richard call his name.

"By the way, Derek, I'm thinking of asking her to become the Co-Head of Neurosurgery…."

Derek's mouth dropped, his eyes bulged. Co-Head? What? How? Why? Oh, he didn't like this at all. His entire life, Derek had always been competitive. Like serious hard-core competitive. That's why he was the Head of Neurosurgery. He had fought his way to the top, becoming one of the best neurosurgeons in the country and even in some parts of the world. And now his title was being taken away from him. He looked at Richard like a child who had been given a time out. "But…do I get to keep my title of Head?"

"Well, technically both of you will be the Heads…so in a way you can keep it, but you have to share. So, if she accepts, you will be the Co-Head of Neurosurgery."

Derek rolled his eyes and exits the office. As he makes his way down the hall he muttered, "I'm gone for three months and they've already demoted me. What's so great about Dr. Grey or Levant or whatever?" He was acting childish and he knew it. But this was his hospital, his OR, his department, his job…and Meredith was taking over. That was just not acceptable.

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

As Derek walked into the cafeteria a few minutes later, he spotted Meredith sitting by herself sipping her coffee. He grabbed himself a muffin and made his way over to her. He was determined to show her that he was in charge, not the other way around. He took a seat at her table without saying a word.

Meredith looked up at him incredulously. "Sure, Dr. Shepherd. You can sit here. No problem. I appreciate you asking my permission."

He simply rolled his eyes. Leaning forward he looked at her square in the eye. "Look, I don't know who you are or where you came from. But this is mine. Seattle Grace is mine. You may have taken over in my absence, but I'm back now and I'm in charge. Got it?"

"Really? Yours huh? Wow, that's weird because I was under the impression that Richard was the Chief. Someone should probably tell him to get a new lab coat because his has the wrong title sewed on it then."

He was very annoyed by her sarcasm. "Look, all I'm saying is that I am in charge. There will be no more repeats of this morning."

"Oh, you mean when you barged in on a case that you had no idea about and almost made my patient overdose on diazepam? Because that was fun, we should do it more often."

Derek sighed as he threw himself backward into his chair. He stretched his legs out as he broke off a piece of his muffin and popped it into his mouth. He silently debated whether he should tell her about what Richard had just told him. But then he decided he could use it to his advantage. He could talk her out of it.

"So, the Chief's thinking about asking you to be Co-Head of Neuro."

Meredith's eyes lit up instantly as she leaned forward. "Really?"

"Yeah, but I think it's a bad idea. I'm trying to convince him not to."

"And why would it be a bad idea, Dr. Shepherd?"

"Because there's only room for one Head of Neurosurgery here. And that's me. I have been the Head here for almost five years, while you have only been here three months. I'm more experienced. I'm smarter. I'm a better surgeon. And I have the respect of everyone who works here. Bringing you in as the Co-Head would only be a step down for Seattle Grace. And besides, why promote you when you're going to be on maternity leave soon anyway."

Meredith couldn't believe what she was hearing. She was starting to think that this man was more competitive than her, which was saying a lot. His ego definitely needed to be deflated fast. She gave him a cocky smile as she stood up.

"I'm sorry that you have security issues. Really, I am. Maybe you weren't loved enough as a child. I don't know. What I do know, however, is that in the past three months I have done double the number of surgeries you have done in the past year. And I have only lost two patients in that time. I have earned the respect of every nurse in this hospital, which is more than I can say for you. I've heard how you treat the nurses, like they're servants or something. And if you think for one second this little basketball under my shirt is going to slow me down anytime soon, you are strongly misguided. So when Richard asks me about the position, I will happily accept. All I have left to say to you, Dr. Shepherd, is that you better be prepared to turn on your A-Game. Because this thing with us, it's just starting and you have a lot of catching up to do."

And with that Meredith walked back into the hospital. Derek sat there, fuming. This was the second time in one day she had left him speechless. No one had ever talked to him like that before. She was a piece of work all right. He wondered if she was this bossy in all other aspects of her life. He pitied the father of her baby…that must be one brave man.

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

Meredith quickly walked to Richard's office. She knocked softly and waited until she heard him say to come in.

"Hey, Richard. Umm, this might come off as a bit presumptuous of me but I was just talking to Dr. Shepherd and…"

"Oh!" Richard interrupted. "He talked to you? Good, that's really good. I knew you guys would hit it off."

"Yeah…hit it off…that's us. Anyway, he said something about you maybe asking me about becoming Co-Head. And I was just wondering if that was true."

Richard gave her a big smile. "It's true. You have been an absolutely wonderful addition to this hospital over the past three months, and I think you would make an excellent permanent member of the staff. But only if you want to Meredith. This is a big decision so I'll give you some time to think it over."

"That won't be necessary. I accept."

"Wow, that was fast. Are you sure you don't want more time to reconsider or anything?"

"No. Extra time won't be needed. I love Seattle. It's my home. And this is a great hospital, Richard. I feel so comfortable working here. I couldn't think of any other place I would rather be. So my answer is one hundred percent yes."

"Excellent!" Richard quickly stood up. He gave Meredith a quick hug, and then led her out of his office. He was talking a mile a minute, telling her off all the great changes he had planned for the Neurological Department. As they were walking, Meredith noticed Derek was heading toward them. He looked at her, then looked at the Richard, and then looked back at her. Richard was oblivious and just continued babbling away. When Meredith raised one of her eyes brows in a challenging manner, Derek knew he was too late. She had already accepted. He turned his neck from side to side, attempting to get all the kinks out of it. He sighed and turned the corner while rubbing his temples with his fingers again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters affiliated with it.**

**A/N: New chapter time! Thank you for all the comments!**

The rest of the week passed quickly for Meredith and Derek. They avoided each other at all costs. They had only been forced together on a case once. And that had been enough for both of them. They had done nothing but argue over what the best course of action was. Meredith had never been more frustrated with another person in her life. He just refused to listen to anything she said. By the end of it, she just gave up. It was just one patient. She would let him win one patient. But that was it. No more. That would be her one good deed.

That day, however, she had an appointment with her OB/GYN to check up on the baby. There was nothing wrong with it so far. When she had heard the swoosh swoosh sound of the baby's heartbeat, Meredith just melted inside. That was her baby. She had a little living person inside of her. Of course, she had always known that. But she was half way through her pregnancy so the baby's features were more distinguished and it looking like an actual baby. She could see it's little fingers and toes. She was instantly filled with an immense sense of pride when she looked at the monitor.

Meredith was on-call that night. She was completely exhausted and decided to go take a quick nap in one of the on-call rooms. She lay on the bed for a while just staring at the sonogram that had been printed out for her. Her baby. She couldn't wait for him/her to be born. She laughed out loud when she realized she was still calling her baby a him/her. But she honestly didn't want to know the sex. It didn't matter to her because she would love it unconditionally be it a boy or a girl. So for now, it was her little "it." With a smile on her face, Meredith clutched the sonogram tightly in her hand and fell into a peaceful sleep.

Derek had been working nonstop all day. Meredith had really pissed him off that morning, arguing with him over a patient. His day had continued to go downhill after that. Now all he wanted was to get the stiffness in his back to go away and to take a nap. He found the nearest on-call room and yanked the door open. His eyes instantly fell upon the sleeping figure in the bottom bunk. Her hair was strewn everywhere, there was a shadow of a smile on her lips, and she had one hand resting on her large belly while the other hung off the side of the bed. Derek's eyes shifted toward the floor. There was a piece of paper lying just below her out-stretched hand. He silently bent down and picked it up. It was a sonogram. He stared intensely at the little human form…it looked so real. Of course it was real, but seeing a picture of it made Meredith's pregnancy all the more a reality. He looked down at her and at her stomach. The corners of his mouth curled upward only the slightest bit. It was the closest thing to a smile he would ever give, especially to Meredith.

He placed the sonogram on the table next to the bed. He then took out a pad of paper from his pocket, scribbled a note on it and placed it next to the picture. He slowly made his way over to the bed and climbed up to the top bunk. The second his head hit the pillow, Derek Shepherd was completely knocked out.

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

Less than an hour later, Meredith began to stir. She stretched her arms out; basking in the peaceful lazy feeling that comes when one first awakes. Slowly, she sat up in the bed and looked around the room. Her eyes instantly fell upon the table. She reached over and picked up a piece of paper and read,

Dr. Grey/Levant-

Wake me up when you get up.

That was it. There was no name attached. Nothing. Meredith got out of bed and stood on her tiptoes to see who was in the bunk above her. When she saw of mop of curly dark brown hair, she let out a frustrated sigh.

Rolling her eyes, she crumpled his note into a tiny little ball and threw it on the floor. She quickly put her lab coat back on, making sure to slip her sonogram in her right pocket. Meredith walked straight out of the on-call room, not looking back at Derek once.

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

Derek woke with a start to the sound of his pager going off like a siren. He clutched his head as he swung his feet off the bed and jumped down. Snatching his pager viciously, he turned to look for Meredith. She wasn't there. Derek looked back down at the table again. His note was gone. But then he saw it, crumpled up on the floor.

"Damn her," he growled.

He marched over to the door and flung it open, receiving odd looks from the people wandering the hall. He tried to regain his composure as he ran down to the pit. He got there just in time to see his patient being wheeled in. Derek went right to work, letting his anger shift to the back of his mind.

It wasn't until he saw Meredith talking to a patient's family members a few hours later that his anger began to rear its ugly head again.

"Dr. Grey. I need to speak with you. Now!" He yelled from practically the other end of the hallway.

She looked up at him, annoyed that he had interrupted what she was doing. "Whatever it is can wait, Dr. Shepherd. I'm a little busy right now."

"No, it can't wait. Get over here now."

Meredith gave a sigh and rolled her eyes. She apologized profusely to her patient's husband and daughter, telling them that she would be right back. She quickly turned on her heels and walked toward Derek, her frustration with him clearly visible. She grabbed the sleeve of his lab coat and dragged him into an empty stairwell.

"WHAT? What is so important that you had to interrupt my conversation?"

Derek looked at her like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You didn't wake me up."

Her mouth dropped in complete and total shock. Derek watched as her eyes quickly changed shades and narrowed into tiny slits. Her entire body went stiff. Derek suddenly became a little nervous. He had never seen her look that angry.

"Dr. Shepherd. Did you seriously just pull me away from those people to yell at me for not waking you up? Seriously? SERIOUSLY??" Meredith's voice became gradually louder as she smacked him across the arm. He looked down at the part of his arm she had just hit and stared at it.

The fact that he wouldn't look at her just infuriated Meredith even more. "Do you even know what I was telling them? I was telling them that they had just lost a wife and a mother. That is one of the hardest things the two of them will ever hear in their lives and you pulled me away to tell me that I didn't freaking wake you up. Newsflash! I am NOT your god damn mother. I'm not being paid to be your alarm clock. God, you are the most self-righteous pain in the ass person I have ever met! I can't even if put into words how much I can't stand you right now. You are a hateful man. A hateful hateful HATEFUL jerk of man!!!" By the time Meredith had finished she was literally screaming at him. She glared at him, shook her head, and threw the stairwell door open and stormed out. Just as the door was closing, he heard her loudly say, "UGH! ASS!!!"

Derek hung his head in shame. He hadn't known what she was telling those people. He felt completely horrible. He had delivered that "We did everything we could" speech plenty of times and knew how hard it was to be on the receiving end. He exited the stairwell to apologize to the family for his rudeness.

He had barely walked two feet before he saw her. Meredith was leaning against the nurse's station, gripping the edge tightly with her hand. He watched as she hunched over and clutched the side of her stomach, wincing in pain. Derek sprinted down the hallway as fast as he could.

"Dr. Grey? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

Meredith kept her eyes closed for a few more seconds. She took in deep breaths as she slowly straightened her back. Gently massaging her stomach, she looked up at him and glared. "I'm perfectly fine, Dr. Shepherd. And even if I wasn't, it's frankly none of your concern." And with that she stormed off down the hall towards her patient's family.

It wasn't until that very moment that Derek fully realized that by infuriating Meredith he was putting her health at risk. Stress was not good for the baby. The fact that he had just driven her to that level of anger just moments before gave Derek the worst feeling in the world. He was ashamed of himself and his behavior.

Roughly raking a hand through his hair, Derek quietly made his way back to his office. He didn't want to be near anyone right then, knowing that the nurses were sure to start gossiping. He gave one last glance in the direction Meredith had stormed off in before turning the corner toward his office.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters affiliated with it.**

**A/N: Wow! That's a lot of comments! You guys rock. You're rockstars!**

**Oh….and….um…don't hate me. There's a reason for everything. Although I quite enjoyed all the scenarios you came up with, Liz86000!**

Later that day, Meredith's shift was very close to being over. All she wanted to do was go home and crawl into her bed. Just block the whole world out. Her day had been crappy. She lost her patient, something that didn't occur very often with her. And then Derek had been a complete ass to her. "At least this day can't get any worse," she thought to herself.

Just as Meredith was about to check on some lab results, she felt her cell phone vibrate. She quickly took the phone out of her pocket. The number on the screen was unfamiliar. Meredith hesitated a second before she flipped the phone open.

"Hello?"

Meredith's ears were instantly met with the sound of blaring music and loud people.

"Hello?" she asked again.

All of a sudden she heard a fit of giggling on the other end.

"Why hello Mrs. Ex Levant. How are you?"

"Who is this?"

The giggling erupted again. "This, Mrs. Ex Levant, is the future Mrs. Levant."

"Who the hell am I speaking to?"

"You don't recognize my voice? What are you…..stupid or something?"

And then it suddenly clicked. That voice. Meredith hadn't heard that voice in months, but now the memories were flooding back to her.

"Angela?"

Another fit of giggling came from the other end. "Good job, Sherlock."

Meredith sighed deeply. "Why are you calling me?"

"Because I wanted to let you in on a little secret. I wasn't supposed to tell you. He told me not to. But I'm going to anyway. John proposed to me. Like two weeks after you left. Isn't that great? I'm at my bachelorette party right now. In less than 24 hours I will be THE Mrs. John Levant. How totally awesome is that?"

Rolling her eyes, Meredith asked, "Angela, why did you feel the sudden need to tell me this?"

"Ummm….I don't remember. I had a reason. Crap! What was it?" Angela was silent for a while. Meredith considered hanging up, until she heard her speak again. "Oh! I remember now. I just wanted to tell you that you weren't good enough for him. But I am. We love each other. We are……what's it called? That thing, when two people meet…and like there's no one else for each other…..it has something to do with shoes or something."

"Soul mates?" This was getting to be a little too much for Meredith.

"YES! That's it. Soul mates. Me and John. John and I. Angela and John. John and..."

"I get the point! You can shut up now." The pain in Meredith's stomach was slowly returning. She carefully massaged her side. "Angela, you're drunk."

"No I'm not! I'm really hurt that you would say something like that. I only had five drinks. Or was it six? No…wait…it was definitely nine. Nine drinks. That's how many I had. There's no way I'm drunk."

"That's real great. Your wedding is in less than 24 hours and you're already hammered. You'll be a hung over bride. Don't worry, that's not tacky at all. I'm sure all of your trailer trash bimbo friends won't even notice the difference."

Just as Angela was about to respond, her friends began calling her name. Meredith could vaguely hear some girl in the background screaming for someone to "take it all off and shake whatcha momma gave ya." She rolled her eyes for a second time. "Well, Angela, it was great talking to you. Really. But it sounds like your friends would like you back. They probably want to have some deep, intellectual conversation about the meaning of life I suppose. I wouldn't want to keep you from that! So…have a nice life and don't ever call me again."

Shoving her cell phone forcefully into her pocket, Meredith stood rooted in her spot. She looked around her. Thankfully, there weren't very many people around. There was only one person looking in her direction, a certain person she didn't want to talk to at all.

Derek was standing in front of a door across the hallway from her. He hadn't heard the entire conversation but was able to deduce that it wasn't a pleasant one. He felt bad for her but he knew she was still mad at him. If she wasn't going to forgive him, he might as well continue being an ass. It wasn't like her opinion of him was going to change any time soon.

He looked at her intently before saying, "Dr. Grey, personal phone calls are not allowed in this hospital. You should know better."

Meredith sent him an icy glare. "Yeah well, idiotic neurosurgeons who have their head stuck up their ass aren't allowed in this hospital either, but somehow you seemed to slip through the cracks."

She quickly turned on her heels and stormed off. The pain in her stomach had increased into an excruciating feeling that much resembled being stabbed. It was almost too much for Meredith to take. But she knew Derek was still watching her and she refused to look weak in front of him. It wasn't until she turned the corner and was out of his sight that she leaned against a wall. Clutching her stomach tightly, she took in long deep breaths. After about ten minutes, the pain began to subside. Meredith had no clue what was going on. Was this a normal part of pregnancy? Because if it was, it really sucked. Once she was able to regain her composure, Meredith continued her walk to pick up the lab results she needed.

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

Just an hour later, Meredith was walking toward her office. She was walking very slowly. The pain had come back and was worse that it had ever been. A large stack of files were wrapped in one arm and resting on her hip while her other hand was attempting to massage away the pain.

Derek was just getting out of a quick surgery. It hadn't been anything too complicated and the patient had sailed through. All Derek could think about now was heading home and just relaxing. As he turned the hallway corner he slowly slid his scrub cap off. Suddenly some movement to his right caught his eye. He turned to look and gasped.

Meredith dropped all of her folders to the floor as she clutched her stomach and whimpered in pain. The pain was coming in waves now, getting steadily worse. The next wave came and Meredith screamed and squeezed her eyes shut. She fell to the ground.

He had been shocked into immobility. It had taken Derek a few seconds before the scene in front of him finally registered. Once he realized what was happening he took off running toward her as fast as his legs would take him. He made his way to her and quickly pulled her into his arms. Cradling her, he tried to scan her body with his eyes looking for any visible explanation. Meredith was breathing heavily. Beads of sweat were forming on her brow. She screamed out in pain again. Derek felt completely helpless. He didn't know what to do. He looked around him and saw that people were running in all directions to find help. The nurse standing nearby was on the phone, attempting to page the OB/GYN on call. Knowing help was on the way, Derek simply held Meredith as close to him as possible.

He watched as she clutched her stomach tightly and whimpered. With tears running down her face she tried to scoot as close to Derek as she could, hoping his strong arms would give her some sort of strength.

"Dr. Shepherd," she gasped. "Please help me. Please. There's something wrong."

He stroked her hair in an attempt to calm her down. What the hell was taking everyone so long? Help should have been there by now.

"Shhhh…." he whispered as he continued to stroke her hair. "It's going to be okay. Everything is fine. Just breath. You can do this. Help is on the way. Just breath. It's okay."

She grabbed a fistful of his scrub top and held on with dear life. Another wave hit her and her screams were exasperated and mixed with her tears. She was having a very difficult time breathing.

"D-D-Derek….save my baby. Please. You have to save my baby. I…I…don't care what happens to me….just s-sa-save it. Please."

Just as she finished pleading to Derek, a gurney arrived accompanied by a swarm of nurses and the OB/GYN. They carefully lifted Meredith off the ground and placed her on the gurney. Derek stood in the background. As they started to wheel her away, Meredith called out his name.

"Derek! Don't leave me. Please…I…I don't…I don't want to die alone."

Derek's eyes clouded over in complete sadness. He grabbed her hand, interlocking his fingers with hers. He brushed her hair out of her face as he knelt down and whispered in her ear, "You are NOT going to die. Do you hear me, Meredith? You are going to make it. Everything is going to be fine. I'm not going anywhere."

They held hands as the nurses rushed Meredith into a room. Derek soothingly rubbed his thumb over her knuckles and whispered words of strength in her ear as the OB/GYN began to run a battery of tests.

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

Dr. Withers, the OB/GYN, had looked over the results of the tests she had done on Meredith. Things didn't look good. Meredith was quickly wheeled into the OR. Derek had no idea what was going on. People refused to tell him anything.

Meredith had begged Derek not to leave her alone and he was determined to keep his promise. He couldn't understand why but when he saw her lying on the floor he instantly felt a need to protect her. He had no idea where that need came from since the majority of the time he couldn't stand being around her. She was cocky, outspoken, opinionated, bossy, and sarcastic. She was everything he couldn't stand in another person. And yet, here he was, praying to god that she was okay.

He wasn't allowed to scrub in on the surgery. Dr. Withers couldn't see the point in letting him in the OR. According to her, he would just be in their way. So he was forced to watch from the gallery. Luckily, he was alone.

Derek watched in complete silence as they cut Meredith open. He watched as they pulled her baby out. He watched as the baby was rushed out of the room. He watched as Meredith's vital signs dropped. He watched as doctors swarmed the table, medical instruments flying. And he watched as she flat lined.

It was an outer body experience for him. He barely knew her and barely liked her. But she didn't deserve what was happening to her. She was a good person. She saved lives for Christ's sake. What cruel twist of fate was this? The saver of lives was losing her own?

As the sound of the flat line filled the gallery, Derek sat with his head in his hands. He had watched too much. There was no way he could possible watch her die in front of him. So instead buried his head and prayed. He prayed for her to make it and he prayed for her baby to be okay.

It wasn't until he heard a slow steady beep that Derek finally looked up. And it wasn't until he heard a slow steady beep that Derek let out the breath he hadn't known he was holding.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters affiliated with it.**

**A/N: So you knew I had to do this, right? I mean you knew something was going to happen. So don't hate me. Please. Oh, and the song is My Last Breath by Evanescence.**

**Hold on to me love  
You know I can't stay long  
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid  
Can you hear me?  
Can you feel me in your arms?**

Derek was sitting in a chair in Meredith's room. It had been a few hours since her surgery. She had yet to awake.

It killed him to think it, but he almost didn't want her to wake up. That probably made him a horrible person, but her future was about to be shattered into a million pieces. All he could do was sit there, replaying Dr. Withers' words over in his head:

_Derek waited anxiously outside of the scrub room. Dr. Withers came out with a defeated demeanor. _

"_Dr. Withers?" He looked at her with hope in his eyes. _

_When he noticed her body language he knew something was wrong. But that couldn't be right. Meredith made it through the surgery. She had given them a scare, but she was a fighter. She made it. So why was Dr. Withers looking at him like that?_

_She let out a sad sigh as she pulled Derek over to the side of the hallway. Every step they took quickly lowered Derek's hope. Dr. Withers put her hand on Derek's arm and gave him a solemn look. _

"_We did everything we could. But it couldn't be prevented. Sometimes things like this just happen. There was no way we could have known."_

"_Known what? What happened? Is she okay?"_

"_Dr. Grey had an ectopic pregnancy. The baby was so premature and there were a lot of internal complications…it had no chance of survival. As we were extracting the fetus, Dr. Grey started to hemorrhage. It took us a while, but we were finally able to control the bleeding. But she lost a lot, so she's going to be a little weak when she wakes up."_

_Derek stood there, unable to think of something to say. The baby died? _

_Dr. Withers noticed the look on Derek's face. "Look, Dr. Shepherd. I don't know the details of what's going on between you and Dr. Grey. I'm not one to keep up on the hospital gossip. But what I do know is that look you have on your face right now, it is nothing compared to what she is going to feel when she wakes up. She is going to need you to help her. You need to be strong for her, okay? I don't care if you are her enemy, co-worker, best friend, lover, or uncle. Just be there for her. Do you understand me?"_

_Derek nodded, signaling that he had heard her. He slowly made his way to Meredith's room, his head clouded with thoughts. _

**Holding my last breath  
Safe inside myself  
Are all my thoughts of you  
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight**

He sat there now, just watching her. She looked so small and fragile lying in that hospital bed. Her skin was pale and her chest slowly rose up and down. Her hair was strewn out in every direction, silkily rippling in the folds of the sheets.

Suddenly she began to stir. He heard the pace of her breathing change as she awoke. Her eyelids lazily fluttered open. And then a look of confusion washed over her face. Her gaze wandered around the room until it finally rested on Derek. This only confused her more. Why was he here? Why did he look so sad?

And then the memories came crashing down on her. The pain she had felt, the feeling of Derek's arms around her, the sobs that raked through her body, feeling the air whip past her as she was rushed into the OR.

**I'll miss the winter  
A world of fragile things  
Look for me in the white forest  
Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)  
I know you hear me  
I can taste it in your tears  
**

"Dr. Shepherd…what happened?"

He opened his mouth as if to say something. But then he quickly closed it. He cast his face downward and kept his eyes trained on his shoes as he tried to come up with something to say. He couldn't do this. He couldn't be the one to tell her that her child was dead.

Looking up at her, he simply said, "Let me go get your doctor." And then he was gone. Meredith was starting to worry. The look on his face told her that something bad had happened. And when he left the room, she instantly felt alone.

**Holding my last breath  
Safe inside myself  
Are all my thoughts of you  
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight**

He returned a few minutes later, accompanied by Dr. Withers. Both of their faces bore identical silent offerings of sympathy. It was in that moment, with two pairs of eyes looking at her, that Meredith knew what happened. She began to violently shake her head from left to right.

"No. No. No. No. No." she repeated.

"Dr. Grey…" Dr. Withers began to say as she took a step forward.

Meredith threw her arms in front of her, physically putting distance between herself and them. "No. Don't! I don't want to hear it!"

Derek could feel his heart breaking at the sight before him. "Meredith, please listen to Dr. Withers."

"Why should I? It's just a bunch of lies. Just get out! Both of you. Go!"

Dr. Withers slowly made her way over to the bed. She put her hand on Meredith's shoulders. "Dr. Grey I know this is hard to hear right now…." She was interrupted by Meredith shaking her head again. "You need to know what happened. You had an ectopic pregnancy. We did everything in our power to save the baby. But she was too premature. There was some internal complications, mainly cardiac related. Her heart wasn't developed enough to handle that kind of stress. I'm so sorry for your loss. If you need anything at all please feel free to have someone page me. I will help you in any way I know how." She gave Meredith's shoulder a gentle squeeze before she turned to leave.

**Closing your eyes to disappear  
You pray your dreams will leave you here  
But still you wake and know the truth  
No one's there**

Meredith was rendered speechless. Derek became worried when she didn't say anything. She didn't move. He had to look a few times to make sure she was still breathing. He made his way over to her. Placing his hand on top of hers he whispered, "Meredith?"

She made no effort to show she had heard him. He tried again. "Meredith?"

Tears began to form in her eyes. She looked up at the ceiling. In a voice so quiet he almost didn't hear her she said, "My daughter is gone."

**Say goodnight  
Don't be afraid  
Calling me, calling me as you fade to black**

Derek held her hand tightly in his. "I know. I am so sorry, Meredith. You have no idea how sorry I am."

The tears that had welled up in her eyes began to make their descent down her pale cheeks. "No. You don't get it. My _daughter_ is gone."

Derek's eyes widened in realization. "Oh my god. You didn't know did you? That it was a girl. You didn't know?"

She squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to block everything out. This only caused her tears to fall faster. Derek didn't know what to do, but he knew he had to help her in some way. So he climbed into the bed with her, wrapping her tightly in his arms. Within seconds of feeling his arms around her, Meredith let her tears flow freely. She buried her head in the crook of his shoulder as he slowly rubbed his hand in a circular motion across her back. The constant methodic motion of his hand soothed Meredith's sobbing and lulled her into a fitful slumber. Derek sat there for hours, just cradling her in his arms while continuing to rub her back, until he eventually fell into his own fitful slumber.

**Holding my last breath  
Safe inside myself  
Are all my thoughts of you  
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of the characters affiliated with it.**

**A/N: All right, I'd like to take a few seconds to quickly address an issue that has been brought to my attention. I have been informed that the stage of Meredith's pregnancy does not match with the signs of an ectopic pregnancy. I apologize for this error. I should have wrote a disclaimer saying that I know absolutely nothing about the medical field, or even about being pregnant. My friend had suggested I use ectopic pregnancy, and I did a little bit of research and thought it tied in well with the type of miscarriage I had planned out. We were obviously wrong. So from here on out, Meredith just had a regular miscarriage, okay? It's what I get for trying to use big medical terms :P Again sorry for the error and thank you for bringing it to my attention. I always want to make my stories as accurate as possible, so I appreciate it.**

**Anyways, back to the chapter at hand. Brace yourselves people, and try not to drool over Derek too much. :D**

When Meredith awoke a few hours later, she was surprised to feel a weight on top of her. She turned her head to the right, only to be greeted with an up close and personal image of Derek's face. He was lying really close to her, with one of his arms wrapped securely around her waist. She was amazed by how different he had been with her. Just the day before she was screaming at him for being a pompous, self-centered ass. And now he was sleeping in her bed. But she was thankful to have someone there with her. There was no way she could have handled this on her own.

Feeling oddly safe in his arms, she snuggled in closer to him. He mumbled something incoherent in his sleep as he tightened his grip on her waist. Just as she got comfortable and was drifting off to sleep, the door to her room was swung loudly opened. Hearing the noise, Meredith quickly lifted her head up to see what was going.

When she saw a figure standing in the doorway, her eyes instantly narrowed.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she asked coldly, her voice dripping with disdain.

Meredith stared at the figure in the doorway intently. He didn't answer her question. So she asked again, "What are you doing here?"

He took a step into the room. "You were pregnant?"

"Does it matter?" she asked icily.

Hearing voices in the room, Derek awoke. The first thing he saw was Meredith sitting up in the bed, her body rigid and anger radiating off of her. He then looked at where the source of her anger was standing. The person standing there was unfamiliar to Derek. He knew Meredith didn't have any friends in Seattle, so that meant this person was from her past. And then he remembered. Sliding off the corner of the bed, he walked up to the man.

"You must be Mr. Levant? I'm Dr. Shepherd," Derek said while extending his hand.

John looked back and forth between Derek's extended hand and Meredith. His facial features were stone-like, lacking even a hint of emotion. "Was it even mine?"

Meredith's mouth dropped in shock and indignation. "I'm not a whore, John! If you're looking for one of those, go talk to your fiancé. Oh wait, she'd be your wife now, right?"

"Don't you dare talk about Angela like that! You don't know anything about her."

There was a fire in Meredith's eyes that burned so bright that Derek became a little nervous. This definitely was not what he expected when he called John the day before. "Oh, you think I don't know her, huh? Well, let me try to see if I got it. She's a home wrecking tramp who had no problem sleeping with a married man. She dresses like a skank. She's practically half your age. She loves to get wasted and give your ex-wife a call. What was I thinking? She's not a whore at all!"

John, who had previously been standing tall and rigid, visibly slumped down. His shoulders drooped. He looked to the other side of the room as he asked in a low voice, "She called you?"

Meredith gave an incredulous laugh. "Yeah, she called me. During her bachelorette party, no less. She wanted to inform me that I wasn't good enough for you and that she is. You got yourself a real winner, John."

"She shouldn't have called you. I told her not to."

"Maybe you should give her a time out. Take away her allowance or something."

John instantly became livid again. "Stop talking about her like that! She's the love of my life and I will not tolerate you degrading her."

Derek felt that this would be the best time for him to step in, before things got out of hand. He moved so that he was standing in between Meredith and John. "Look Mr. Levant, I'm sure the two of you have a lot of unfinished business to deal with. But Dr. Grey just underwent a very taxing and difficult surgery. She physically can't handle this right now. So I think it would be best if you left."

John's steely eyes never left Meredith's. "I'm not going anywhere until she tells me why."

Meredith simply replied, "You didn't want kids. Our marriage was over. And I wanted my daughter to never have to see your sorry excuse of a face."

John started to walk towards her bed, but Derek quickly blocked his way. "You had no right to take away my child!"

"Stop pretending you care, John. You didn't even know I was pregnant until today. Don't you dare act like this is some huge injustice to you! Now, get the hell out of my room."

"What kind of person would keep their child away from its father? Out of what, spite? Were you even going to tell the kid about me?"

The tears forming in Meredith's eyes were the only hint of sadness that could be seen, as she said in a calm, deadly tone, "I would have raised my daughter however I felt fit. You would not have been a factor in anything."

John suddenly took a large step forward. Derek grabbed a hold of his arm and held him back. John forcefully pushed Derek, finding an outlet for his anger. But Derek was furious with John and how he was treating Meredith. There was no way he was backing down from this. Derek grabbed a hold of John's shoulders and started to back him out of the room. John took a low shot, sucker-punching Derek in the stomach.

"John!" Meredith screamed. "What the hell are you doing? Stop!"

Hearing Meredith's screams only assured Derek that he needed to get John to leave. He took his right hand off John's left shoulder, brought his arm back, and then, with his entire weight behind it, Derek punched John straight in the face. John quickly fell to the floor, bleeding. He was out cold. Derek crossed the room and picked up the telephone that was hanging on the wall.

"Yes, this is Dr. Shepherd. Can you please send security to room 2807? Thanks."

As they waited for security to get there, Derek sheepishly looked over at Meredith. "Sorry about that."

Meredith gave him a small smile. "Don't be. You're officially my favorite person today."

**GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA**

Derek was standing outside of Meredith's room. He had been standing there for the past twenty minutes. Never before had he felt this guilty. He was the reason why John was here. Meredith was so furious with John, which made Derek very curious. He had always assumed that she had a husband and they were happily married. Guess not.

He took in a deep breath and mentally prepared him for the storm he was about to step into. Walking into the room, he noticed that Meredith was curled up in a ball on the bed with her back facing him. He gently knocked on the door to make her aware of his presence.

"Hey it's me. Can I come in?"

Meredith simply nodded her head. He pulled up a chair close to her bed and just sat there. Rolling over to face him, she noticed the odd look on his face. "Dr. Shepherd, you look like there's something on your mind."

"Dr. Shepherd, huh? So you only call me Derek when you're in a life threatening situation?"

He instantly regretted saying that when he saw her eyes cloud over in sadness. "I'm sorry. I was trying to lighten the mood. I guess that was kind of rude. I was never good at jokes."

"Just say what you came here to say."

"Right. So, it's my fault." He received a look of confusion from Meredith. "John. Him being here…it's my fault. You were rushed into surgery so quickly. I knew someone needed to know what was going on, incase…you know….Well, anyways, he was your emergency contact person. I had no idea who he was; I just called him and said you were being operated on. He asked why and I told him that it would be best if I told him in person. If I had known what I now know, I would not have called him. I'm sorry." He braced himself for the yelling that was sure to come.

However, Meredith just shrugged her shoulders. "He's my next of kin. That's my problem. We were still married when I moved here. I guess I forgot to remove his number on my charts after the divorce. I'm sure if you hadn't called him, someone else would have. It's fine."

By the look on Derek's face, it was obvious that he was dumbstruck. "Seriously? You're not angry with me? Seriously?"

"No. You were just doing your job."

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thrilled that you're not angry. But I still feel horrible about it. I mean…he's such a…jerk!"

This made Meredith give a heartfelt laugh. Hearing her laughter made Derek smile. In some weird way, he was proud that he was the first person to get her to laugh since all that happened. But then her demeanor became serious.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why the sudden change? I mean for the past few months we have done nothing but argue and hate each other. And now you're here…being nice and stuff. Why?"

Derek leaned back in his chair and thought for a few moments. "I don't really know. It's hard to explain. I guess it all changed when I saw you lying on the floor in pain. I'm embarrassed to say this, but for a moment I couldn't move. I saw you and I didn't know what to do. The seriousness of the situation didn't quite register in my mind. I think in that moment, I realized that you and I are a lot alike. We're both stubborn and bossy, and we both like to be in charge. But, you're not the enemy. This is a hard time for you, and I want to help anyway I can."

Meredith wasn't sure what to say to all of that. Derek seemed genuinely sincere. "I guess you're not the enemy either."

Smiling, Derek held his hand out to her. "Hi, I'm Derek Shepherd."

"What are you doing?" Meredith asked.

"We met in this room, you remember? Well technically we met at that nurse's station across the hall. Regardless, we met and we, well you saved a girl's life in this very room. I said I wouldn't have done what you did, and you gave a cocky remark and walked away. And we started this thing. We started this thing and we didn't know a single thing about each other. We were both too proud to let our guards down. I want to start over from the beginning. So, hi. I'm Derek Shepherd."

She eyed him warily, wondering what he was really up to. "Seriously?"

"Meredith. Please?" His eyes were begging her to say yes.

Meredith shook her head lightly as she gave him a small smile. She extended her hand to meet his. "Hi, I'm Meredith Grey."

"Very nice to meet you, Meredith."

"It's nice to meet you too, Derek. Now go be a dear and get me some Jell-O from the cafeteria. The red kind, not the green. I hate the green kind."

Now it was Derek's turn to eye her wearily. "Seriously?"

"What? You want to start over and be all friendly and whatever. So consider this a peace offering."

"How is it a peace offering when you are the one asking me to do something?"

"Well it's not like I can walk down to the cafeteria on my own. And I'm hungry."

Sighing, Derek got out of his chair. He looked down at her and saw that her bottom lip was pushed outward and she was giving him puppy-dog eyes. He couldn't help but laugh at how childish she looked. He was still laughing as he headed towards the door. "The red kind you said?"

Meredith nodded her head vigorously. Just as he started to turn the corner, she yelled after him. "Derek!" He turned around and stood in the doorway. "You should laugh more often."

He gave her a smile, nodded his head, and then left to start his mission of finding her some red Jell-O.


End file.
